Vietnam War Memorial Post 639

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Welcome to Post 639's Halloween Page.  Our entire purpose of this page is to have a little fun.   We are having a Halloween Party at the post on Saturday, October 30, 2004.  The Band will be "Shallow Howl" and will play from 8:00 PM until Midnight.  See you there or be square.

A Little Halloween Humor

...............Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? 
...............It had no guts...

...............How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
...............With scare spray...

...............How do monsters tell their future?
...............They read their horrorscope...

...............What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
............. A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

...............Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
...............No, they eat the fingers separately...

...............What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
...............Booberries...

...............What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
...............Halloweenies...

...............What is a vampire's favorite sport?
...............Casketball...

...............Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
...............To improve his bite...

...............What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
.............Frostbite...

...............What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
...............A boo boo...

...............Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
...............Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

...............What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
...............Peekaboo...

...............What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
.............A cereal killer...

...............Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
...............They're too wrapped up in themselves...

...............What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
...............Dead ends...

...............What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
...............A blood vessel...

...............What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
...............A scareplane...

...............What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
...............Bloodhounds...

...............What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
...............A stake sandwich...

...............What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
...............A trombone...

...............What do birds give out on Halloween night?
...............Tweets...

...............Why do vampires need mouthwash?
...............They have bat breath...

...............What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
...............A guy with very high blood pressure...

...............Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
.............He heard it had great circulation...

...............Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
.............He was buttering up his teacher...

...............What does a cannibal get when he comes home late for dinner?
.............The cold shoulder...

...............What do you get when you goose a ghost?
...............A handful of sheet...

...............What kind of car does a ghost drive?
.............A Boo-ick...

...............Why wasn't the vampire working?
.............He was on a coffinbreak...

...............What do skeletons say before eating?
.............Bone Appétit...

...............What does a child monster call his parents?
.............Mummy and Deady...

...............Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
.............At bootiques...

...............What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
.............Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot...

...............What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
.............Sleeping booty...

...............How do you make a witch scratch?
.............Just take away the W...

...............Where do ghosts go swimming?
.............The dead sea...

...............What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor?
...............Veinilla...

...............What did the three vampires order at the bar?
...............Two bloods and a blood light...

...............How did the priest make holy water?
...............He took some tap water and boiled the hell out of it...

...............What do you give a vampire with a cold?
...............Coffindrops...

...............What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
...............A pumpkin patch...

...............Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?
...............Because he's a pain in the neck...

...............Who is a skeleton's favorite emperor?
...............Napoleon Boneaparte...

...............Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
...............They couldn't find their bats...

...............What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
...............Pumpkin pi...

...............Why was the witch kicked out of witching school?
...............Because she flunked spelling...

...............Why can't skeletons play music in church?
...............Because they have no organs...

...............How do you tell twin witches apart?
...............You can't tell which witch is which...

...............What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?
...............A Poultrygeist...

Sleep Tight, Everyone